Stuart Breckenridge

How to Write Release Notes

From Medium’s latest release on the App Store:

So I’m hanging out at THE UPDATE, where the release notes go to drink after work. All the regulars are here, and I’m just quietly minding my own business at the bar.

Slack’s sitting in the corner, making everyone laugh, AS USUAL.

Facebook runs in, screams BUG FIXES and runs out.

LinkedIn has Instagram cornered by the Jukebox, going on and on about how professional their latest feature is.

Tumblr is out front, chain smoking with Spotify and ranting about some new experimental noise album from Denmark.

It was just a typical Tuesday night, when all of the sudden four black SUVs come out of nowhere.

1Password screams “It’s the FBI!” and hits a hidden button behind the bar to automatically lock the front door.

A gruff voice shouts “Open this door immediately!”

“We don’t have to listen to you!” bellows iTunes.

They go on shouting and arguing through the locked door for awhile. After several hours of this, the FBI abruptly gets back into their SUVs and drives off, saying something about a “back door.”

Calm once again returns to the room. “A round on the house,” calls out 1Password. As the glasses are lined up along the bar, I hear a soft muttering. “I doubt that’s the last we’ve seen of them.”

tagsal, funny, and controversial. I love it.


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